Patience, young grasshopper ...

Remember the vintage TV show, "Kung Fu", when the main character, played by David Carradine, was learning the ancient ways from his teacher?  Probably the most quoted phrase from the show was when the mentor would remind Carradine's character, "Patience, young grasshopper." Though the show aired about forty years ago, I can still recall how that phrase, when uttered, pulled me into a state of calm and serenity.  Yep, even as a little kid.  Even back then, I knew it was important.

These days, it's been a challenge to lock into that sense of patience.  Just writing this blog post makes me itchy to get to the point of it, keep it interesting, keep ME interested, wonder how people will take it, how it will affect them, and on and on, blah, blah, blah - ad nauseum.  I'm getting impatient just re-reading what I just wrote.  "Get ON with it, Pam!"

It is oft said that patience is a virtue.  Indeed, that hackneyed phrase is from a poem entitled, Psychomachia, or Battle/Contest of the Soul, written by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius.  Patience is one of the Seven Heavenly Virtures (Chastity, temperance, Charity, Diligence, Kindness and Humility being the others).  To practice them meant you'd arm yourself against the Seven Deadly Sins (the nasties wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony).  Yes, I'd say the seven virtues are something to emulate.  And I'm not doing too shabbily with most of them.  But Patience is eluding me.  It's a battle I've been losing as of late.  And I hate that.

Maybe it's due to having a Smart Phone, wherein everything is at my fingertips and, after having that sort of convenience, I'm inwardly baffled that the rest of the world isn't that zippy-quick.  Maybe it's having so many irons in so many fires all at once (my voice-over career, my book stuff, my spiritual stuff, social stuff and, oh, yes, how about my wonderful hubby?).  Sometimes I'm seven different people simultaneously.  Sometimes I work to have all things line up succinctly so that I can actually sit back and relax on occasion.  But then I feel guilty about relaxing, growing impatient with myself for not being in activity.  I don't think it's undiagnosed, late-onset ADD.  I think it's overworking and overstressing about being everything to everyone - sometimes including myself.

So I become impatient with my lovely hubby when he's not spinning at 100 MPH the exact same way i am.  I become impatient with the lady at the coffeehouse you wants a quick fill-up on her coffee because she's doing a "no, after YOU" to me and, really, I CAN WAIT (because I came in here to practice patience today), but I finally snap and say, "This is silly.  Just go ahead. Geeze - It's like a Mexican stand-off!" which upsets her but, hey, I can't stand people when they waffle.  Make up your mind, take a stand, or go home.  Stop.  Wasting.  My.  Precious.  TIME!

(cleansing breath)

So, I own the fact that Patience is a hard-fought, difficult-to-grasp virtue for me.  I think the first person I need to be patient with is myself.  My daily morning meditation practice is sporadic, at best.  But I know the value of taking those 15 minutes each day, how time seems to slow down and thicken and deepen, allowing for stillness and calm.  It's like I'm David Carradine and I can sit in stillness that bolsters me for my day ahead (although I do not take part in martial arts practices due to my bad lower back and due to the fact that I'm as graceful as one of these: )

So, I forgive myself for being so gosh-darned hard on myself for NOT meditating.  Yes, I could beat up on myself, because I should "know better", being a "big deal Chopra Center meditation student, fer cryeye".  Things happen.  Life happens. Things speed up and they often blind us to the softer, slower, gentler things.

I hiked today and prayed for patience, for focus and for stillness.  The fact that I'm owning my impatience issue is huge for me.  Owning it, recognizing it's a problem, is truly my first and greatest step in allowing myself the gift of stillness, of not having to be perfect, of not having to be Everything.

So, the next time I lose my patience, I'll slow down, breathe, look in my pocket to find it.  Because I carry it with me always ... and it's never completely lost.



From angiechan.com