I usually get into the holiday spirit on Thanksgiving. The Macy's parade usually does it for me, as they have a Class A Santa in a Top Drawer Sled. This year, Ben and I were fortunate enough to enjoy the start of the season on a Disney Cruise and in the Magic Kingdom , a trip we'd been saving up for over three years. THAT usually does it for me (because a Disney Christmas is a thing of beauty), but my Ho-Ho-Holiday Meter barely budged. I looked forward to my annual viewing of "A Charlie Brown Christmas", only to find that ABC butchered it, removing the snowball throwing, the snowflake tasting, and even Shermie's line, "Every year it's the same. I'm always a shepherd." Depressing, disappointing, and deflating.
This time of year is usually festooned with parties and dinners, allowing for reconnecting with family and friends, with silly sweaters and wacky gift exchanges, but this year has a lot of changes and challenges: some family members are needing to sell their home, one family member passed a few months ago, work is slower than it's been all year, Chicago is bracing for its coldest winter since 1904, and then there's my Daddy, who's been in hospice care since mid-May. When people ask me how he is, I simply say he's "Old Man River": he just keeps rolling along. I treasure the moments when his eyes are open, when he smiles one of his "all the angels are in their rightful places" smiles - because those moments are rare. Mostly, Daddy sits with his eyes closed or sleeps, listens to Big Band music or Me-TV, and is fed slowly and carefully via syringe by his angel-on-Earth caregiver.
And so I wait. I've been is a state of waiting, of holding my breath, for months now. About Daddy, about work, about so many things. The ground around me feels shaky. Uncertainty looms around every corner. Waiting, fearing, but very little Looking Forward to anything, as much as I try. My Gratitude work keeps me connected to Spirit, but just barely.
I started thinking about Advent earlier this week, when a dear friend of mine gave me two Advent calendars, with the little windows and the tiny chocolates. Although this dear one is basically shut-in because of some extreme medical conditions, she took the time to get these sweet little German Advent calendars for us. This simple gesture started to crack the ice surrounding my heart. And it made me think about Advent, the four weeks when Christians typically start to look forward and anticipate Christmas, the festival celebrating Jesus's birth.
The Three Wise Men. The Bible says they followed a star which took them to the Christ child. They gifted him with rare, luxurious things to honor his divinity. Many theories agree that they were not "Three Kings from the Orient" but rather three astrologers, regal in the authority granted them due to their wisdom and knowledge of the stars. They utilized their knowledge which showed them something incredible was coming; it was written in the stars.
My knowledge of astrology is limited, but this I do know: Mars is in my Sun sign, Aquarius, until January 12. That covers the entire holiday time frame. And what does Mars do? Brings energy, vitality, courage and determination to a situation. Mars is pretty much on Red Bull most of the time. It's wise to treat Mars gingerly, because all that energy can get to be a bit spazzy. But still, it's more benefic than not.
So where is this going? It's reminding me that I most certainly do have the power within to bravely, powerfully go forth with my life. So, in the spirit of Looking Forward, I promise myself Three Wise Goals, gifts I give myself (that are not material) during this holiday season, which I'll put forth presently to honor MY divinity (Note: even if Mars isn't in your Sun sign, I challenge you to take this on, See how it might shift you out of a holiday doldrum.). I'm even going to be fancy and name them after the three Wise Men:
My Three Wise Goals for Holiday 2014
1. Gaspar - Once a week, I promise myself a special meditation practice. I might add unique music, incense, or take the meditation out on the road, meditating in a different location. I'll call this my "Frankincense" gift.
2. Balthasar - Maybe because the word "bath" is embedded in the name, I promise myself one weekly Magickal Bath, set with good intention, infused with deliciously-scented bubbles or salts, with maybe a glass of wine set on the edge of the tub because, you know, Wise Men (and ladies) need a little decadence once in a while. May this be my own personal "Myrrh"
3. Melchior - Of all the Magi's gifts, gold was the most precious. So will this gift be, because it's about giving back. Once a week, I shall give a present to someone who might not be expecting it. Like a total stranger. And may each act be "Gold"en and blessed.
There. I'm now actually Looking Forward rather than waiting or fearing. I thank God and my angels for enlightening me with this idea, and I hope you give it a try.
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